Remembering her...on friendship day!

5th august 2007

Enu
My friend.
A friend as a friend should be.
With her I learnt that friendship has no dimensions.
That it is a deep bond that touches the heart and yet is so easy and hassle free!
And that it does not matter whether you meet every day or after a gap of years.
Friends always remain friends.

We first met about twenty seven years ago in Bhusawal where our husbands were posted at that time. There were few families in our township during those days and we used to meet often at get togethers and parties. Soon we realized that we had similar hobbies and interests and we started planning combined activities.
During the day, we would plan, design and make outfits for our children, bake cakes and decorate them for birthdays, and together preserve seasonal fruits and veggies in the form of jams, jellies, purees, sauces, squashes and pickles. We would help each other in preparing for festivals and share our recipes of sweets and snacks and join forces to cook for the frequent parties that we indulged in.
In the evenings we went for walks together with our spouses and kids and would often meet again for coffee after dinner, and talked about everything under the sun...we discussed our future plans shared our dreams, sought solutions to our problems and of course gossiped to our hearts content.
We were separated in 1983 because our husbands were transferred to different cities .We were not able to maintain much communication during the subsequent years, busy as we were in coping with transfers and the needs of our growing families. Even after coming to Delhi we could not meet often due to the distances and busy schedules.
The call of Modicare brought us close again in 1996 and we met as if the gap of thirteen years had never been there! Our children were quite grown up by then, and even though Enu was teaching in a school, we found time to be together and plan the business which we were sure would make our dreams come true.

The hard work paid off and finally came the day when we with our spouses were invited to take fully paid three day cruise from Singapore with a stopover at Bangkok on the return trip. She was childlike in her excitement at her first flight and her first visit abroad. It was a wonderful holiday that we had together. The business had to take a back seat after that as we became busy in other family commitments but we met regularly and our ties became stronger.
By this time our friendship had matured and I admired her not only for her skills but also for her lovable nature. She was a totally selfless person with no ego, always ready to fulfill her obligations towards family and friends, whether it was for treatment and care of her parents, the wedding of her husband's neice or the education of her nephew......she opened her house for all who needed assisstance.

She and Bhaiya came bearing gifts on festivals and occasions without any expectations for returns. She always welcomed our visits even though she had a busy schedule due to her job, ever ready with a snack or a meal. She was an appreciative person and expressed her delight at a thoughtful gesture or gift.

We had a lot of trust in each other and shared our joy when our children achieved their goals and unflinchingly poured our hearts out when we were anguished.
We would discuss and make plans for our children’s weddings and plan our purchases for the events. Often when we sat together we would make plans for our post retirement lives, when we would form a group with like minded people and live close by and meet everyday and have combined outings and holidays

But God willed otherwise.

Enu was diagnosed with breast cancer .She bravely underwent the surgery and subsequent therapies. A devout follower of Shri Nirmala Mataji, she drew courage and hope from her prayers and got cured and even started working again. Such is the miracle of faith.

But later she developed some complications and her health started deteriorating. I met her for the last time in November 2006. She was in considerable pain and discomfort even then, but put up a brave front for us. All the treatment and care could not save her and she succumbed to the disease in January. The news came as a shock, although I did fear for her life after that last meeting.
Her passing away has left me with an irreparable sense of loss.
I shall miss her always.

Happy friendship day Enu!!
.

Oh My God !!!!!!!

Oh my God!!!!!!
These are exactly the words that came to my mind when I read my just turned eighteen niece’s message on google talk.....the message said “and I thought the past tense of think was thunk”

Where has all the grammar from Wren and Martin taught painstakingly by the teachers of the elitist school we sent her to gone, I wondered!!
Come to think of it, almost all the spellings and rules of written English seem to have changed in these modern times of the computers.
Now with is wid...enjoy is njoy...I am is M...that is dat ..the is d okay is k..friends is frens.....got to go is g2g be right back is brb and the list is endless. One has just to chat with some of these under thirties to get a full intro to this new lingo.

It is said that every language evolves with the passage of time and perhaps the need for speed in typing in contemporary times has led to the use of this abbreviated form of writing. In these times of multitasking when a person chats with many people at a time and does other work at the same time too, he or she would certainly need this kind of expression.

I first encountered this kind of English about a year and a half back when I came to Libya and started using chat windows to keep in touch with people back home. I have steadily got more and more familiar with this new age form of writing and got used to reading and comprehending it too...

Well....even if I do feel that the makers of the English dictionary would be turning in their graves, and even if the steadfast teachers of English would shudder to see what their students are writing...and even though I am not able to bring myself to express myself in this fashion...
I also find this lingo crisper, trendier, and younger !!
I love to read what they write to me in their hurry....
And I love to read the amazing messages they leave on their chat windows.
Maybe one day I will get into their groove too and amaze them....

Those were the days......

As children we often used to hear our elders talk of the good old times when money had a lot of buying power, when a rupee could fetch a kilo of ghee or an anna would suffice for a nice treat ...when people were more sincere and less materialistic and so the list would go on and on. And later sitting alone I would wonder what it was about those times that these people remembered with so much nostalgia...did they not like the progress brought by science and technology? Was life not much more comfortable now...the telephones, faster modes of transport, clean well planned houses and urban life with glittering markets not better than those days when things were slower and well...more rural?
But today having myself lived a decent number of years I too find myself fondly saying....

Those were the days when I would go to my grandfathers village with my cousins .Every morning after breakfast we children would go prancing along the dusty streets to the mango orchard and feast on freshly plucked fruits and then run through sugar cane fields to the tube well to clean ourselves before coming home to a fresh meal made lovingly by the ladies of the house. Oh what fun it was when all of us sat together on the floor giggling and telling tales about each other till the next chapatti came our way!

Those were the days when we first came to Delhi in 1964...when we used to go for picnics to Buddha Jayanti Garden armed with sheets and mats for the elders to relax on , food and even a stove and cooker for cooking some hot khichdi and lots of playing gear. We never minded not having a car and having to carry everything in local buses!
Every year on 26th Jan we would go to India gate lawns to watch the Republic day Parade with friends and family. We would sit in the stands and munch sandwiches and stuffed paranthas from our picnic baskets as we proudly applauded the contingents passing by. There were no security checks to stop us from carrying our stuff to our seats.

Those were the days when departure or arrival of a loved one from a foreign country was a big event and the whole lot of us would go to the airport in a hired bus to see off or receive them...we could walk almost upto the runway and see them getting onto the plane When Munna Mama went to UK for higher studies he even hung the marigold garland we had given him on the window of his seat so that we could make out where he was seated!! Their return would be even more exciting as the bags were opened and gifts were distributed...and the slide shows at night when the whole extended family would sit together to enjoy the sights of distant lands...the sounds of fun and laughter still echo in my ears..

Those were the days when all my cousins would spend the summer holidays together...those lazy hot days spent huddled in groups over a game of cards or snakes and ladders, playing badminton or seven tiles in the evenings and dark room at night. No one bothered that there was no air conditioning or television in the house...it was one big family and while we children played the ladies would see to the cleaning washing and cooking. All of them were mother figures to each of us and there was never any concept of yours or mine. In Shamli the famous chat vendor would be called at home with his pots full of yummy gol gappas ,papri and tikkis that we could gorge to our hearts content....and the huge baskets of lichees in Roorkee which we would polish off in a matter of minutes...oh .the taste still lingers.....


Those were the days when the summer nights were spent outdoors and we slept on cots spread out in the garden or the terrace under the stars...the long story telling sessions which ended only when the eyes would no longer remain open. I will never forget Tandan uncles tales of the witch with hair just an inch shorter than the distance from Delhi to London...and how he would spin yarns for my sister, who sat wide eyed, soaking up every incorrigible tale, on condition that my father who was an early sleeper would keep awake till the end of the story. The stories would continue well into the night with my sister prodding dad time and again to keep him awake till exasperated, he would shout at all of us to go to bed!!
We loved the days when we could cajole Tandan auntie to take us for a ride in her vintage car...we would eagerly scramble into the back with stools to sit on as the seats had long since vanished....and be ever ready to push the vehicle back home if it stalled on the road...


Those were the days when as teenagers we went to see movies when ever there was free time and we never missed a circus performance or a fair....
Rainy seasons were wonderful when we got drenched in the backyard and then were given tea with tulsi leaves to keep away the cold or ate hot roasted corncobs with salt and lemon.
During Dussehra festival we went to see the Ramlila for each of the ten days till Ravana was burned on the last day and all cheered the victory of good over evil. Diwali melas were fun and we shopped for lights crackers and sweets .
Winters were lovely too and we spent sunny Sunday mornings eating peanuts with green chillie chutney and had hot pakoras and tea at home in the afternoon or at some wayside stall after a stroll in the markets, window shopping.
Sometimes we would just sit in the newly started Mudrika buses which started from one point and ended at the same place after travelling on the cicular road bordering Delhi, watching the sights of the city and people coming and going...


How I long for those good old days....
Those days when we lived free from terror
The days when the threat of bombs had not invaded our lives...
The days when news of a bomb explosion in a bus or a market was unheard of...
The days when innocent lives were not snuffed by the unmindful actions of some fanatics out on a rampage....
The only bombing we heard of was during war times when the wail of sirens made us rush indoors till the all clear was sounded again....
When security checks and frisking were not part of our existence
The days when the airport staff did not look at an infants milk bottle with suspicion of being a potential safety hazard ...
When we went to quiet places and to crowded places ...
We traveled by road , train or air.....
But our eyes were never trying to identify objects which could blow us to pieces...

The days when we were safe....

So despite the progress brought about by science and technology, despite the comfortable lifestyle and fast means of transport and communications, the malls and multiplexes, television and computers and so much more that we have to thank for.....

I still long for the days that were!!!

A great achievment.....

With a prayer of thankfulness and a feeling of relief we, together with millions of others around the globe, watched the graceful landing of the spacecraft bearing Sunita Williams and her colleagues on 22nd June 2007. It was really heartening to see the tiny white speck flickering on the TV screen grow bigger as it loomed closer and finally take the shape of Atlantis ....the spaceship which brought back precious lives and valuable information .
A truly remarkable achievement of the scientists who have over the years striven to unravel the mysteries of the universe.....and of Sunita Williams who has shown what a woman is capable to attaining.
. Commendable too is the strength of the parents and families of these space voyagers who waited with courage and patience for their loved ones to come back safely to the earth.
And here we are, the ordinary mortals busy with our petty squabbles and egos !! I do feel humbled and awed in the face of such an achievement
A tribute at this moment to Kalpna Chawla whose lost her life earlier for the cause of the progress of mankind.

Tunisia Vacation

I had thought that this posting would give us a chance to see not only Libya but also a couple of other countries of Africa. But Vipin’s heavy work schedule and visa hassles kept us tied and all this time we could move no further than Tripoli . Then one fine day everything suddenly seemed to fall in place and we were off for a four day trip to Tunisia
Situated in North Africa Tunisia is on the Mediterranean coast flanked by Libya on one side and Algeria on the other. It is a beautiful country with a long shoreline dotted by small towns and beautiful beach resorts for the tourists. Each place has a historical heritage and plenty of leisure activities.It is easy to get around since language is not a barrier. Arabic and French are widely spoken and most people also speak English and German. Tunisia is a favourite holiday destination for the Europeans due to its temperate climate and closeness to Europe. Driving along the coastal road from the border at Zuara we come across Djerba, Gabes, Sfax, Mahdia, Monastir, sousse, Hammamet and finally the capital..Tunis. Southern Tunisia is a part of the Saharan Desert. Our time in Tunisia being limited we decided on staying at Djerba and Sousse .

A disappointing start!!!
Armed with lots of vegetarian food , juices and water and a lot of excitement we set off on our holiday at 7.30am .Our plan of going through the Zuara border had been altered by Jemal who suggested that the Nalut border would be closer for us and we would be able to reach Djerba sooner. The road to Nalut border is beautiful winding through dry desert mountains and about a hundred km long. At the check post our passports were examined and re examined and after a wait of about half an hour we were informed that we could not enter from there as the visa was valid for entry only through the Zuara check post! It came as a rude shock to us as we gaped disbelievingly at the guards and Omar the driver who tried to explain the situation in broken English. The prospect of the hundred km back then one hundred and fifty to Zuara and the further sixty to the border seemed daunting enough but we were not to be deterred. We crossed Tijee again at 10.30 am and continued non stop on our journey lamenting upon the loss of precious three hours.
The rest of the journey was spent listening to a cassette of old Indian melodies and dozing intermittently till we reached the next checkpost at about 1 P.M.
Here everything went off smoothly except that when the boot of the car was inspected , the guards removed a 20 litre can of petrol which Omar had put inside since petrol prices are very high in Tunisia as compared to Libya. This is done to prevent smuggling of petrol across the border. Well after that the passports and visas were again inspected and to our relief everything was in order and within half an hour we were in Tunisia!!

Djerba

Djerba is a small island town joined to the mainland by a six km long causeway. It is a beautiful drive ...the sea on both sides almost lapping the edges of the road. The island itself looks like a beautiful oasis covered with date palms olive trees and small orchards of fruits like apricots, figs, grapes, pomegranates and oranges occupying every inch of empty space. There is calm and unhurried atmosphere about the place and the people seemed to be friendly. We cruised leisurely through the neat little town, crossed the market and headed straight for the beach resorts about fifteen km further towards the sea. This area houses numerous beach resorts and hotels to accommodate tourists who flock to this charming town. These whitewashed buildings nestling in lush green surroundings gleam like pearls against the backdrop of the deep blue of the Mediterranean . It is truly a breathtaking sight. We went directly to one of these resorts Hotel Yaddis , where we were booked for the night. The hotel had all the facilities one could wish for.....bars, restaurants, gym, spa, swimming pool , music, indoor games, disco, well laid out gardens, and of course a private beach. Since it was already 5 pm by the time we checked in we decided to spend the evening inside the resort lazing on the beach walking around the gardens and going around the handicrafts shop inside the hotel.
The next morning we were packed and ready to go to Sousse. To leave Djerba we again came to the sea where the vehicles and passengers board a barge for the six km crossing back to the mainland. We enjoyed the three hundred and seventy km drive to Sousse stopping occasionally to look at some handicrafts stalls or for coffee and drinks at one of the wayside cafes. The countryside is very clean and we passed many small towns and isolated houses on the way similarly whitewashed and with nicely maintained gardens. There are miles and miles of olive plantations on either side of the highway. Finally at about four pm we reached Sousse.

Sousse
This is another beautiful resort city of Tunisia . We checked in at hotel El Kanta which is one of the numerous resorts lining the beach. The resort area is close to the city along the beach front going upto Marina Kantoui where hundreds of boats are parked to take holidaymakers for a trip out in the sea. The Marina is surrounded by a courtyard housing cafes ,restaurants and small village like shops selling local handicrafts . Behind these shops low rise hotels set between a foliage of trees and flowering plants blend perfectly with environment. It is a pleasure to walk about the narrow pathways and enjoy window shopping and seeing the boats coming and going with their passengers.
We spent a lovely evening strolling around the marina and came back to our hotel for a sumptious buffet style dinner and then went around exploring the hotel facilities ending up at the poolside where a live band played soft music. It was an evening I will never forget.
Early next morning we went to Hammamet about eighty km from Sousse on the Tunis highway. The lovely wide road edged with flowering shrubs on either side and the central verge made this drive very pleasureable. Hammamet is a pretty little town with a port , pristine beaches, fort ,city centre and of course a medina for the handicrafts lovers. A cute yellow and blue coloured train is available to take visitors for a tour of the city for a nominal charge. There are many restaurants and brightly canopied cafes on the sidewalks where one can relax with a coffee or a cold drink.
We then hurried back to Sousse where we had booked a two hour cruise on the sea aboard a catamaran boat for three pm. We took a short tour of the city centre and Medina before boarding the boat. The sea breeze was refreshing and we saw some dolphins frolicking in the water. On the way back the boat was anchored for the swimming enthusiasts to dive in the sea. We came back and walked around the marina again It was a pleasure to see that the Tunisians love Indian movies and songs and enjoy watching Indian TV. Amitabh Bachchan and Kishore Kumar are well known names here. Lots of people asked me if I was from India and wanted to talk to me about our culture and dresses. I was pleasantly surprised to see a group of young girls who came and stood in front of me with folded hands like the namaste pose. The evening was spent again by the poolside enjoying a folk dance performance.
We started back for home early next morning with the regret that we should have had some more time in Tunisia so that we could have taken a two day desert tour and a day trip to Tunis as well. I have brought back with me memories of a wonderful holiday made possible due to the warm and courteous people and breathtaking beauty of the places we visited.
Signing off in anticipation of a couple of more such holidays before we leave.......

The excitement dims??

It has been a year and a quarter since I came here to Tijee and somewhere along the way what was once my haven appeared to me to have become my place of exile ! Why and how this happened I do not know. Everything here is the same as it was, the good as well as the bad part......but I conveniently forgot the comforts and enjoyment of this place taking note only of the long lonesome days , maddeningly busy Vipin the touch and go telephone and internet....This maybe so because I have not utilized my leisure time as I should have done. Yes that is it. I had planned to do some good reading and writing. But alas! all I did was to become a couch potato and watch TV the whole day long. Gradually the mind became blank and words would jumble up whenever I tried to read and elude me if I tried to express myself.
Constant reminders from Sakshi for updating my blog have finally brought me back here today. And now that I am here I realize that I do have plenty that I want to say! Three cheers!

Long time no see!

Hi Blog
Long time no see!
Well I am just back from India after a one and a half month stay there. And it was a hectic but good visit.
Stayed ten days at Bangalore with Nona and Sachin and enjoyed with Suhani who is becoming more and more playful each day.Ashu being there for his training made my vacation perfect.
Back at Delhi and Anand Vihar was like old times. One really gets caught up in a flurry of activities there and time just flies.
There seemed so much to be done and so little time! The morning sessions with Papa ,all those people to meet and the phone calls to be made...bank, bills,shopping and so much else.
Atul and family came from USA in the last week of june and we all went together on a small holiday to Chakrata..a nice quiet place in Uttaranchal .We were sixteen of us and had a good time there but I did sometimes feel quite lost without Vipin.
Coming back to Libya was really like homecoming and I was so happy to see Vipin waiting at the airport...I suppose it is rightly said that home is where the heart is ..or may I say ..my husband is?
Till next time then..

Sabratha

Sabratha
On the 10th of February we visited Sabratha , the site of an ancient Roman city about 40km. from Tripoli on the coastal road to Zuara. This city is about 2000 years old and even today the plan of the city, magnificient tall pillars, the theatre building the mosaic work and the remains of oil presses used in those times stand testimomy to the glory that must have been. Standing there on the beach near the pillars which must have been the gates to the empire it is not difficult to imagine the arrival of the mighty Romans via the sea route to stake claim to this land. They must have been great builders...what they built then has been ravaged by nature through the centuries but still stands proudly nevertheless. There is a small museum too, which houses many sculptures and art work of those times. I enjoyed this visit thoroughly.

Tijee

More than a month has passed since I came here and very quickly too! Despite the misgivings of my friends and relatives who thought that I would not be able to survive this solitary life for many days, I find that I have settled down to a very comfortable routine.
And a solitary life it is too! There are no Indian families here and it is difficult to interact with the locals due to language problem….they speak only Arabic which I do not know. So I stay alone at home till Vipin comes home from work.
But I love our relaxed lazy mornings spent with glasses of refreshing Korean Ginseng tea with honey and lemon while watching the news on NDTV. As Vipin gets ready for office I wait happily for Ghosh..the mess helper who brings us a nice hot breakfast and tea. After vipin goes to office and Ghosh and the Sudani who comes to clean the house leave it is time to connect to the internet ,check my mails and find my online friends.
Nona and Suju of course are my regulars who make sure that I remain in touch with all that is happening back home . They give me all the news so that I do not feel that I am away from home . Seeing little Suhani on the webcam just thrills me. Ashu with his chanting of ma..meri ma…stays with me all the time and Googi keeps finding new sites for me to find games on. Swati finds time to keep me updated with her activities. Garima with her occassional ....bua this is Garima...makes me feel that she is nearby. Shyam keeps me updated with share market news...They and all the others who find time from their busy schedule to send mails to me and chat with me ensure that I have company and do not feel lonely.
Some reading and TV and it is time for lunch….we go to the mess for food . After a short break Vipin again goes to office .I take a walk in our garden and then settle down with a cup of tea and my knitting to watch my favourite TV serials . I The evening passes fast and soon after Vipin walks in with dinner.
To add to this are our almost weekly trips to Tripoli , where we spend our free time strolling along the beach, window shopping in the fancy markets and meeting Indian families living there.
So, where is the time to be lonely? Modern technology has ensured that we are never really away from our own people!

Year 2006 Begins!

Year 2006 has begun and one more year has been relegated to history!
A lot has happened in my life too....
31st Dec. 2005 brought endings and new beginnings for me. Does this sound like the reading of a tarot card? But truly this is how it has been!
It was on this very day that the uncertainties of the past six months ended and I finally landed in Libya to be with my husband . The ticket was booked for 29th and there was a last minute rush because the programme had been been finalised at a short notice. Savitri bhabhi and Bhai Sahab came to say bye and brought home made laddoos and mathris which we are enjoying now. Savita bhabhi came with them too. Lots of phone calls and good wishes later it was time to start. Sandhya,Vipul,Suju,Shyam and Divyam came to see me off at the airport.

The Journey....
The Royal Jordanian flight was to start at 6.30 am but was delayed by four hours due to fog in Delhi. Finally it was check in time and we queued up for our boarding passes. There was a lot of rush of Haj Piligrims at the airport but finally everything got sorted out and we were on board!
To my surprise I found that I had been given a seat in the executive class maybe due to the heavy booking....anyways I settled down for a very comfortable journey to Amman.
The flight reached late and as expected I missed the connecting flight to Tripoli. I had to spend two days there in hotel Aliaa, waiting for the next flight. The hotel was good and I had a good time meeting lots of people from different countries who were there in transit...waiting for their flights to various destinations. Finally on 31st I took off for Tripoli! All was well till I came to pick up my baggage....to my dismay it was nowhere to be seen. I lodged a complaint with the authorities and suffered some anxious moments before I got it on the 3rd on the third trip to the airport.

The Destination
From the airport we started straight for Ruwais...... the place where Vipin works and I got my first glimpse of the countryside. Ruwais is about 250 km from Tripoli towards the western mountains and it takes about 2 hours 15 minutes. there is little traffic once you leave the city and vehicles move fast. Tripoli is on the mediterranean sea and has a good climate. We saw a lot of orange trees laden with fruit on the way. As we move on, the terrain changes and we find ourselves in the desert somewhat like we find near Jaisalmer back in India. At last we reached the house in Tijee, a small town near Ruwais .....which will be our home for the next few months.